My heart begins to race as we reach the grandiose airport. For the past two hours, I have been wide-awaked and excited. It has been a long time since I went aboard. My parents wish me to have safe and fun trip. My mom, who was especially worried about letting her daughter to go alone for the first time, gave me a tight hug. “Mom, don’t worry. I’ll take good care of myself. I’ll contact you when I can, I promise.” So I head into the airport gate, pulling along my huge suitcase. It is almost midnight so there aren't many people at the airport. The airport is so pacific that my heavy suitcase's wheels make screeching sound with the concrete floor all along the way. However the sound didn't bother me. All I think about is the trip waiting ahead. I drag my luggage all the way to the last row to check in and receive my boarding ticket. Then I go to the departure and pass through some security checks.
There
are lots of duty free shops opening, but not many people went in. I could even
count the number of people in the shops! Well, it’s an hour before
the flight arrives so I decide to stroll around. People are walking around and texting
on their phone. There is strident sound of message popping every single second. 'Beep,
beep!' And my heart goes, 'Thud, thud.' I feel so excited that I can’t stand
still. Not only me seem to be excited, the two girls in front of me chitchat
cheerfully. “It’s gonna be fun.” “I feel like flying on my feet now.”
I could
smell different scent of fragrance that came out of the shop from time to time.
Among the assertive smell of fragrance, was a smell of coffee. The mellow businessman in grey
tuxedo is carefully sipping from the mug. The vapor of the coffee is slowly
drifting from the cup and spread into the air. Even I, who doesn’t drink
coffee, sense the thirst to drink. I can imagine the taste of bitterness and
cream. Suddenly, something distracts me; ‘Attention please, passengers who are
taking the flight 656, this is the final call for you to board the plane. Thank
you.’
Huh, flight 656? That’s my flight. Uh, oh!
Good beginning, good ending, superb body. Just simple and elegant, Patty! I've never actually read your writings before which I'm glad I did now. Your techniques are good. The onomatopoeia and adjective you use really concoct that very sound in my mind. Beep Beep! Thud Thud! This sound and smell situation really is perceived. I don't really have any comment for improvement just for some little typos like "abroad" and "Wide-awake." Some tenses are a little switching but it's better than average! Surprisingly good job !
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteFlight or flight is a very interesting title l, it really attracts the reader to your story. It's really interesting! At first I thought it's going to be about the trip but I never thought just by describing the airport seems interesting. I can imagine already imagine the place by what you are describing. I really enjoy the ending. It's great!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm happy my reader enjoy it. :)
DeleteLove the title! The airport seems to be having many things. The ending was great and awesome, it is very descriptive. The variety of smell it seems pleasant. It made me also want to try some like you. You really describe everything in detail that is what I love about it.
DeletePhatjanant P.8
Thank you for your compliments :)
DeleteGreat writing! You describe it in detailed and I understand how you feel in the flight. Flight or fright is a good topic. You did a good spectator sport. Your writing makes me flow through out your intention. It's really interesting and wonderful. I enjoy your beginning part. Well done! GOOD JOB :)
ReplyDeletePantaree P1
Thanks, I try my best to describe the details. :)
Delete